Feeling Alive
by Hr98
Summary: Castiel Novak is bored and gifted. He can heal people and himself despite that fact his life is boring no adventures or quests to go on. That all changes when a certain green-eyed serial killer walks in his workplace. Dean Winchester is serial killer who has lived many lifetimes and is perfect in what he does but he's lonely but that changes when he walks in a certain gas station.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Bored.

That's what Castiel Novak is, **bored**. He is bored and crazy since no sane man refers to himself in third person. I'm bored, as I made it clear; I thought that by this time in my life I would've been in an awesome relationship and in an awesome job, but look at me! I'm a freaking cashier a Gas-N-Sip and the day has never been slower.

How did I get here? How did I get from a rich family to working at a gas station wearing tacky blue vests? Oh yeah my family are a bunch of homophobic dicks with the exception of my older brother Gabriel. He's the brother anyone can ask for. If he were to come in right now and saw me leaning against the counter twiddling my thumbs he wouldn't care, not one bit. He'd just buy candy, give me a hug and be on his way.

There's a reason why my life wasn't complete shit and it's due to my ability. I'm not a mutant or anything but I was born with an ability. It's not rare to have an ability but it's not common either. I have the ability of healing; I can heal myself and others even to the point of death, impressive right? Well my parents thought so too. They believe it was a gift from god himself, that I should be using it to heal people like an angel…..like a **doctor**. They created high expectations for me not caring if it was something I wanted to do with my life. It's not that I don't want to heal people it's just I know I'm meant for something more even if it sounds cheesy as hell.

My family is what except out of any religious family; strict, no fun and most of all homophobic. Ever since I came out they have been extremely passive-aggressive more aggressive then passive toward me. They said the stereotypical insults saying I would go _hell _if I were ever to lay with another man, that I'm sick and I need help, that since god gave me such an amazing gift the devil felt the need to tempt me _**blah blah blah**_. The worst though was my mother, she would be crying hysterically and would start hitting herself on the head murmuring how she failed me, that she could've prevented this if she were a better mother, it was awful. I've never been close to anyone in my family, with the exception of Gabriel, but seeing my mother cry made my heart clench painfully. Back then I would've done to gain my mother's approval so I did what any other kiss ass would do, I lied. I told her I was lying and was testing my parent's faith and I would be the doctor she would want me to be and all that type of bullshit. The result was immediate she quickly cleaned herself up, laughed it off then hugged me saying that she was proud of me and that I would the best doctor/healer the world has ever seen _ohhh ahhh_. I think she even said something along the lines of '_bringing honor to the family'. _I didn't even think she knew the movie Mulan!

I was startled out of my thoughts when I heard a loud thump outside. I stood up and looked out to see today's newspapers stacked in front of the store. I left the counter and headed outside to retrieve the papers. As I brought them in and put them on stand where they belong, I grab one for myself along with a cup of coffee. Only god knows that if I'm gonna be working all day I might as well be awake for it even if the coffee is crappy. I lift my feet up and place them on the counter, leaning back on my chair.

The paper says there's a serial killer on the loose, says that his kills are ruthless and merciless. His name is Dean Winchester and in the front of the page there's a really badly drawn sketch of him. I sigh and throw the paper face up on the counter while leaning back and finishing my coffee. Soon I get consumed by my thoughts, I mean I'm not sure why but I'm wasn't really concerned about the serial killer, weird right? I'm not scared like I'm supposed to be it's probably because of the inner thrill I get knowing danger is out there. Honestly it's not only today I've been bored, I've actually been bored my entire life and was heading towards more boredom if I didn't drop out of Doctor College. Thank god I did.

My life consisted of business meetings, formal gatherings and fixed up dates with rich spoiled assholes. Yeah I'm from that type of family, boring! All of my life I've been searching for an adventure, something to get the blood pumping in my veins and feel the adrenaline coursing though my body. I thought I found that in high school by dating the school's bad boy but all I got from him was a lousy lay. I look back at the paper and start thinking about the serial killer roaming these parts of Illinois, Dean Winchester. On the run, serial killer and FBI's most wanted. God the adventures he must go on a daily basis I mean yeah he's a killer and whatnot but he must have his reason for killing. Wait- _why am I defending a serial killer I have never met?_

Back on track, the rush he must get from being chased from the police, successful murders done one after the other and getting away with it all. Hey this doesn't mean I'm gonna become a serial killer myself, I don't have the skills or techniques to become one and hey isn't that a messed up thought. I chuckle to myself I can't be a killer not because it's wrong to kill but because I don't have the _**skills**_. To be honest I think some killings are justified, some people just deserve it, the bad guys, rapists and perverts deserve it. Then there are the people who don't, like children and innocents. I see the world as white and black, good and bad, killers and need to be killed.

Growing up with the family I had has made me cold-hearted and realistic to these truths. I don't like to think that everyone has good in them like Clark Kent but I like to think that everyone has bad in them. That everyone has the terrible, disgusting, grotesque side to them. That side they don't show to people in fear of being viewed as a monstrosity. Only a few group of people display that side and those people are our dear murderers, rapists, sadists and psychopaths. Then there are our people who actually try their best to overcome it all, to overcome the monstrosity that is humanity. That 1% who try to do good, to get therapy and to work out their issues but sadly it would all have been for nothing, why? Because the 99% will always win, corrupt and defile.

Wow no wonder I'm single. I chuckle to myself and start to shake off these thoughts currently brewing in my mind. This is why I shouldn't be left alone for so long I get very terribly morbid. Just as I'm about to sink back in my black hole of despair the bell rings, signaling that someone just entered the store. It was a man in a brown leather jacket and judging by where I'm standing about 6'1 feet tall with short brown almost blondish hair and this is all I gathered from looking at his back.

I looked away there's no reason be to over analyzing the only man who has come to the store today. I stood up turning my back to counter and began stretching my stiff muscles leaning on the counter all day will do that to you. When I started stretching my arms I felt my dress shirt ride up a bit, exposing my toned stomach and back. Just as I was about to bend down and stretch my legs I see someone at the counter. It's the man, I mean who else, and he was smirking while traveling his eyes all over my body.

"Well, don't let me stop you. Please continue I was admiring the view." As I started making my way over to the counter I could feel the beginning of a blush etch onto my face. I smile to myself and look at the man and go figure the man is gorgeous, although he looks familiar in a certain way. He has bright green eyes like those of an emerald, a fine chiseled jaw that looks like it can cut stone, bright pink lips as if he was chewing on them all day not to mention the cute freckles decorating his face. If I'd stared long enough I would've started counting them, speaking of which I realized I've been starting at his face for way to long and duck my head. I began checking out his items but the thing was I could feel him watching my every move, never looking away. The longer he looked the redder I felt my face become. When I'm done bagging his items I finally look back at the man and was surprised to find a hungry gaze looking my way.

"T-that'll be $19.98." I stuttered out, face burning red.

Suddenly he starts to lean over his face getting progressively closer to mine and I let him, which is a bit weird since I have only known this stranger for half a minute. Just as he was about to say something the screeching of cars outside make him halt. I could finally breathe properly but when I looked outside to my surprise the store's gas station lot is full of police cars and policemen.

I was confused, what was going on? The stranger saw the confusion on my face and spoke "It looks like they found me."

He spoke with ease that I couldn't help and tilt my head more in confusion. "W-what do you mean 'they found you'?" I stuttered out again.

Suddenly it hit me I looked down at the newspaper, the stranger following my gaze, and raised my eyebrows in realization. I looked back up again and found the man to be smiling.

"You're a smart one aren't you? Hot and smart. I like it." He spoke with a purr in his voice. He stood up straight, still looking at me in the eye, and spoke "I guess I should introduce myself?" he held out his hand "I'm Dean Winchester and those cops out there are here for me and I bet you know the reason why." He finishes with a wink.

I guess this day isn't going to be as boring as I thought.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello there! It's me! Here's a new chapter! Hope you enjoy it!**

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><p><span>Chapter 2<span>

"Dean Winchester we have the place surrounded! Come out with your hands in the air!" The policeman bellowed outside.

There were at least more then twenty cars outside, each car with three or four cops surrounding it. I didn't know how to feel at the moment. I was currently inside my workplace with a well-known serial killer and we were surrounded by more then eighty cops outside. I can honestly say days like these don't come by often. Many emotions were brewing in me the top ones being surprised, shocked, confused and I'm not ashamed to admit but I was also feeling a tinge of excitement as well. I was surprised for two reasons; one, I'm currently in the same place with a serial killer and two; I'm not expressing the slightest amount of fear. Which considering the circumstances I should've needed a dash of terror, a spoonful of worry and a few gallons of fear. _No scratch that_, more then a few gallons more like a few tons!

Any other normal person would have followed this recipe perfectly but apparently I'm not any other normal person, hoorah. With so many emotions and a little bit of sanity I decided to deal with confusion, the rest will come later. I don't know what compelled me to ask the next question but I did it anyways.

"How did they find you?" Dean seemed surprised at the question he's probably not used to dealing situations like these, where his hostage is asking strange questions not begging for his life. The question although was completely valid and perfectly reasonable. Judging by the number of times Dean Winchester has been caught, which is zero to none, he can disappear of the face of the earth if he wants to. So how did the police find him in a deserted gas station?

Dean smiles at me and looks at me with a spark in his eye. He then goes through his bags and pulls out a container full of pie. He opens it and then looks at me gesturing for a fork. I sighed and opened the drawer near me and pulled out a fork and handed it over to Dean. Dean reach over for the fork but in doing so he gently caressed my hand, his fingers tracing every noticeable vein on my hand, the whole time maintaining eye contact. He plucked out the fork out of my grasp and began eating his pie; at that moment I figured out that Dean is a tease in everything he does. The way he was eating his pie was in every way…._**scandalous**_. The way he pouted his lips when he was taking a bite out of the fork and the way he licks the fork and his lips afterwards, ugh. To say the least, it was arousing, which was completely inappropriate considering the circumstances.

I was so distracted with my inner ramblings that I almost didn't hear him talk.

"Because I wanted too." I was confused, wanted to what?

"Pardon?" I asked.

He puts his fork down and leans against the counter with crossed arms, he looks at me and smirks "They found me so easily because I wanted them to."

He looked so relieved as if he just told someone a terrible secret. Once again I was confused by the serial killer, does he want to get caught? He sighs loudly; sounding physically and emotionally tired, and begins to elaborate.

"The cops have always been a thorn on my side; they are always making me run, ruining my perfect kills, drawing terrible pictures of me." He looks down at the newspaper and I followed his gaze, nodding my head in agreement. It really was a bad picture. I looked up and saw Dean looking pleased that I had agreed with him on that fact.

He continues, "Sure sometimes I love the feeling of getting chased and knowing they'll never catch me is such a rush but sometimes even a killer like me needs a break!" He shakes his head in annoyance and looks outside, I look out as well. All the police officers have there guns positioned at Dean, following his every move. There are some officers looking at me too, their faces either clouded in worry or burning suspicion. The latter is mostly likely because I am maintaining a normal conversation with a _serial killer_.

Dean lifts up an arm and places it on my shoulder, as if testing out a theory. The reaction outside is immediate and all the cops look ready to blast his hand off my shoulder. Dean removes his hand and sighs exasperatedly, clearly annoyed at the cops reaction. He looks at me with an offended look on his face, like the cops called him a dirty name, "See?! Annoying! I can't go out to buy some pie without them following my every move. Talk about needy!"

I look at Dean weirdly, "Well I don't know Dean maybe they're 'needy' because you're a serial killer who is number _one_ on the FBI's priority list?" I speak to him pointedly. I couldn't help the sass, it's just who I am.

Dean smiles and leans closer to me and whispers in my ear with a purr, "I like a man like that".

I shudder slightly and ask breathlessly, "Like what?"

He answers, "A man with sass and who doesn't take shit from anyone."

I continue, "How do you know I don't take shit from anyone?" I ask curiously.

He has a glint in his eye when he answers, "Well for one in all this time I've been here with you, never once have you shown any sign of fear in those cute blue eyes of yours."

I tilt my head in curiosity, "Why should there be fear in my eyes Dean?" Dean looked happy at me using his name. Strange, what was he expecting? He moves away from me and I'll admit I miss the warmth he provided.

"Castiel right?" I look at my name tag and nod "Well Cas, you are trapped in a gas station with a very well-known serial killer, are currently surrounded by cops, and well call me crazy but other people would've started crying or something, maybe begging for their lives." He had a good point I was way to calm to be considered normal but I don't know there's just something about being within Dean's atmosphere that wasn't alarming. It was comfortable, which ironically enough shouldn't be the case as he is a killer.

I don't know where the urge to tease Dean came from, it seems I'm doing things I wouldn't normally do but I couldn't withheld the next statement in even if I tried. "Well I don't know Dean do you want me to beg?" And there's that lustful gaze again.

"Oh you'll beg alright but not for your life." There was a promise in Dean's words and he didn't seem like the man who would break his promises. I couldn't help but laugh in disbelief.

"Why are you laughing?" asked Dean grumpily, he looked as if I've spit in his coffee.

I smiled and lean closer to Dean this time, "Dean we are surrounded by more then a dozen cops and all you seem to doing about that fact is complaining how needy they are or flirting with me. You also pay more attention to how unfazed I am about this situation, which in some way makes me a hypocrite, then worrying on how you're leaving here without cuffs on your hands.

Dean smiles looks outside, the cops still in position, and looks back at me, "Speaking of the cops, it seems like they are doing some research on you. They by now are thinking you must be some sort of friend of mine."

I look outside and saw what Dean was saying is true. The policemen have seemed to made themselves comfortable and have assembled a table with three expensive looking laptops with a women, who was sitting in front of the laptops, typing very quickly while some men surrounded her and kept looking up at me as if listing off details of me. The women then stopped and looked as if she had found something, she showed it to the man standing next to her and he looked up at me. He then proceeded to grab the megaphone from the previous cop that spoke before and walked in front of the group, I nudged Dean in the arm and made him look outside.

"Dean Winchester," I saw Dean narrow his eyes it seems that Dean knows the cop speaking, "please release Mr. Novak into our custody." He then turned to look at me, "_Casteel_ please know that you're currently talking to a murderer, an emotionless being who has no interest in you but in killing you!" I'm not sure why but I felt offended by the officer's words. Was he implying Dean wouldn't like me in any other way that wasn't killing me? He also mispronounced my name, which come on is not _that_ hard to say, Dean got it in the first try.

I looked at Dean and I wasn't expecting the look on his face, he looked angry. It probably has to do with the fact that the officer called 'emotionless'. I wouldn't let myself hope that the anger he was emitting was regarding me because of what the cop said. It seemed that Dean liked having the last word and turned to me, his face softening, "Does your store have any sort of microphone or speaker to communicate with the idiots outside?" Despite Dean speaking to me nicely, there was that withheld angry in his eyes.

I speak cautiously, "Well the store does have speaker system that plays awkward elevator music outside," I chuckle at my sad attempt of joking, "but if you want to I can connect the microphone I use to notify the customers of closing time."

He looks at me sweetly, "If that wouldn't be a problem Cas."

I smile, "Of course not Dean but you're going to have to come in here to speak in it."

I then opened the little door connected to the counter and gestured for Dean to come in. Dean looks outside and smirks at the cops he then proceeds to walk in touching me more then necessary, not that I was complaining, and stood closer to me.

The cops on the other hand did not like Dean's little stunt of moving closer to me, "Dean Winchester get away from Mr. Novak!" Dean only proceeded in flipping them off.

Dean turned to me and smirked, he seemed happier to be closer to me. I had to ignore Dean for a second while I started to set up the microphone, so I backed away and got to it. The problem was that I had to bend down in order to do so and when I did I could feel Dean's eyes burning into my ass. That man had no sense of boundaries and that's comes from a guy who has heard the words 'personal space' more then once in his lifetime.

"Hey Cas?" Dean spoke.

I looked back, turning my head, "Yes?"

He smiled cheekily, "You've got a great ass."

I blushed hard and nearly fell on my ass due to his words. I looked back forward and tried to ignore the increasing heat growing in my belly. I finished connecting the right cables and stood back up. I turned to Dean gestured for him to come over; he had apparently moved back a bit to get a better view of my ass.

It was only polite to thank Dean for his…comment, "Thank you Dean. I don't usually get many compliments and even though considering the circumstances which deem this inappropriate, it's nice to be complimented." I finished with a small smile. Dean however looked flabbergasted.

"WHAT?! What do you mean you don't get compliments?"

I laughed, "Exactly what the words mean Dean. In the community I grew up in people weren't exactly begging to get into bed with me."

Dean gasped loudly and exaggeratedly, he began pacing back and forth with a hand on his mouth he looked disturbed.

I spoke again with a genuine smile and amusement clouding my face, "It's not really that big a deal Dean."

He looked at me shocked and walked towards me and grabbed me by the shoulders gently and spoke, "Not a big deal?! Not a big deal Cas?!" I looked around with wide eyes, amusement decorating my face and nodded. "Cas you are gorgeous!" I blushed furiously, "Knowing that not many people haven't begged to be with you is outrageous and borderline crazy!"

I smile widely and step out of Dean's warm hands and push him towards the microphone, I lean towards him a little bit and whisper in his ear, "You really know how to flatter a man, don't you Winchester?" I felt him shiver, "Don't you have some cops to talk to?" When I pulled away I swear I could hear growl a little, but got back on task on hand and looked forward. "Just press the red button when you want to speak." I informed him. He nodded and I went to sit on the counter and grabbed the pie he was previously eating and started eating it myself.

He pressed the red button and spoke, "Hello? Hello can you hear me?" The cops got startled and started looking around and then towards the store. Dean smiled, "Oh! I'll take that as a yes." Dean suddenly looked angry, "I just wanted to clarify that _**Castiel**_ doesn't have to be a victim of mine to get my interest." He spoke harshly.

I on the other hand stilled, I was surprised so he wasn't angry because of what the rude cop said but what he said regarding me. I couldn't and wouldn't stop the heat in my belly even if I wanted to.

Dean continued, "I mean look at him! HE'S HOT!" Oh blushing face you're back! "Ever since I came into the store he has treated me with nothing but kindness." Outside a cop leaned over to whisper to the cop next to him the other one nodding along. I wasn't the only one who saw the small interaction. Dean narrowed his eyes and spoke, "Got something to sure with the rest of the class buddy?"

The cop looked red-handed but then turned smug. He took the megaphone from rude cop and spoke, "Kindness Winchester? The boy is probably frightened out of his mind. Why would he treat you, a serial killer, with kindness?"

Dean looked confused and turned to look at me asking me a silent question. I just shrugged my shoulders in confusion. Dean then laughed, but there was something off with his laugh, "Does he look like he's about to piss himself?!" All the cops suddenly turn all of their attention towards me and I cower at the attention but wave to them unsurely. The cops looked baffled by now.

Dean looked pleased by the looks on their faces and he spoke once more but, this time his voice outlining a threat, "Look I'm tired and I want to leave and if you don't clear out in the next five minutes…" Dean then took out a gun from the back of his pants and aimed it at me, "I will shoot out Mr. Novak's brains out."

I should've be scared; should've have finally showed any sign of fear but I didn't. I still wasn't afraid. There's a gun aimed at me and I wasn't afraid.

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